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You know who you are,  you were driving the ‘old man car’ at the mall parking lot today.  As you pulled out of your parking spot, you didn’t check your blind spots and you backed into my stroller – which was still carrying my daughter – and pinned it between the back of your car and the back of mine.  As I had briefly turned my back to load up the car I was alerted to this by a ‘crunch’ sound and my friend yelling “STOP!”  As I ran to the back of the vehicle I saw my friend slam her hand down your car and run around to your window.  I was a little slow with processing the events but I was very quickly aware that our two boys were each in their respective car seats and that my daughter was looking up at me, despite what you just did, with a smile and a giggle, arms raised asking to be lifted out.

I refuse to apologize for my friends words to you after you, stupidly and despite the 3 other witnesses to the event, roll down your window and said, ‘I almost hit it. It was so low, I couldn’t see it.’  At least you had the decency, or so I thought, to pull your car ahead and come talk to me.  Again, I will not apologize for my friend, who, at this point, I was incredibly thankful for as she had found her voice, at a time when Read the rest of this entry »

So, I said that I would keep track of my day today in response to that article a few years back in the Washington Post.  Funnily enough, the column was written a short week before my first child was born and I just haven’t had time to read it until now.

So, back to today’s post, keeping track of my day today to determine just how much fun and relaxation I am getting in my days now that I have two kids.

6:40am – my daughter wakes up and I try to grab just another 20 minutes of sleep while my husband entertains her as he gets ready for work

7:10am – finally have to get out of bed

7:15-7:45am – feed myself and my daughter breakfast while flipping through the weekly flyers

7:45-8:40am – my daughter plays on her own as I clean up the kitchen, catch up on a few emails, flip through the paper, prepare snacks for our trip to the farmer’s market later this morning.  Wow – it really is a life of leisure so far today!!  Gotta enjoy this when it comes!

8:40-9am – my son (finally!) wakes up and plays with his sister.  I supervise to make sure she doesn’t swallow any of his smaller toys and he doesn’t tear her arm off as he swipes them out of her hand while I try to teach him about manners and politeness and how to use his ‘nice’ words to get what he wants.

Yup, that’s as far as I got.  I didn’t have any time after that to waste it tracking the minutiae of my day but it did start off well.  Sorry, Tacoma, WA, if you’ve had your own kids by now you don’t need me to explain it to you and if you haven’t, I haven’t got the time to care about what you think about how SAHM’s spend their days.

This article, copied below, was recently brought to my attention and I’m working hard not to be too offended.  After all, and I freely admit it, I am a bit of a procrastinator, definitely not a morning person so it sometimes takes me a bit longer to get moving in the mornings but I hardly sit around on my bum twiddling my thumbs all day long.

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What’d you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .
Okay. I’ve done Internet searches, I’ve talked to parents. I don’t get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don’t do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I’m asking is: What is a typical day and why don’t moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I’m feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy — not a bad thing at all — but if so, why won’t my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest (“My life is so much harder than yours”)? What’s the deal? I’ve got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.
Tacoma, Wash.

Relax and enjoy. You’re funny.
Or you’re lying about having friends with kids.
Or you’re taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven’t personally been in the same room with them.

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it’s validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm’s way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It’s needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It’s constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It’s constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It’s resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone’s long-term expense.
It’s doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything — language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It’s also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn’t judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

So, because I agree with some of the other comments that were left in various places in response to this post,  indicating that the columnist didn’t actually answer the question, I have decided to post the details of one of my days.  So, tomorrow, I will document my day and share with you all!  Aren’t you lucky.

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A mom. A wife. A sister. A friend. An Aunt. A chauffeur. A referee. As any mom out there knows, you become what you need to be. The trick is to not lose yourself in the process. Today, we choose to lead our families back to a healthier state. Physically. Mentally. Together.
Today I Ate A Rainbow nutritional charts

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